It is hard to pen down things or roll with it when you are stuck in a rut because of many many reasons. My block this past month has been COVID, first in the family and now me. It’s been tough and we’ve been riding the wave and on many levels are lucky and grateful. Whilst sitting alone in my room and binge watching shows, connecting with family and friends, staying off social media for my mental health – I realized I should process this experience in my blog because it is never going to get more personal than this.
The reason it is relevant here is not because I’m going through what I am going through but because it feels more like a metaphor for when people get stuck, especially when you run your own small business and are catering to so much more than just one role. How do you find that motivation to get past it and take that first step. It comes naturally for some people and for some it doesn’t. I am definitely, the latter. After my brother was diagnosed my head was not in the game, I took a break from work and my clients were extremely compassionate about it. When things slowly settled and I started working, I got COVID and this hit me harder because now I felt like I was also letting my clients down again. It hurt but I explained it to them and they continued showing their compassion. It is amazing, how simple things can drive you. Actions, reactions, advice, stories and experiences.
The first time, when I said I wanted to start working between my brother getting negative and I testing positive there was a weeks gap in between. My clients said, it is okay, do not rush it but I felt I had, had enough with COVID but life had its own plans. I felt so bad that I had to take another step back but I realized that not rushing things and taking baby steps forward forces me to evaluate harder, read between the lines and stay grounded. It is okay to take your time to get back out there, find your own pace and swing it however hard or soft however you want. There is no right or wrong to get past ups and downs, it is about finding your path to lifting that bat up and playing your game your way. I guess, simply put what I’m saying is don’t not take that swing though, eventually, when you are ready for it.